<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>too many times (i told myself to hold on) by joeyroy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146059">too many times (i told myself to hold on)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyroy/pseuds/joeyroy'>joeyroy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei, Minor Nishinoya Yuu/Tanaka Ryuunosuke - Freeform, Minor Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Multi, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Sawamura Daichi Being an Idiot, Sawamura Daichi is a Mess, Spin the Bottle, basically no one is cis and theres no reason for anything, basically no one mentioned in this fic is cis, daichi is trying his best kind of, i have opted to create my own canon, their friends are a little evil, there is no context to basically anything in this fic sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:40:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyroy/pseuds/joeyroy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At some point in the seven years since Daichi graduated from high school, Nishinoya has picked up an absolutely awful trick: getting everyone to play the worst drinking game Daichi has ever heard of.  To be honest, Daichi isn’t even sure it counts as a drinking game, since it doesn’t technically require anyone to drink—and according to Noya, it’s more interesting if nobody does—but probably it still counts because everyone is already tipsy anyway and there’s a collection of the most depraved alcohol bottles known to man in the center of the circle of them sitting on the floor of the apartment. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>too many times (i told myself to hold on)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At some point in the seven years since Daichi graduated from high school, Nishinoya has picked up an absolutely awful trick: getting everyone to play the worst drinking game Daichi has ever heard of.  To be honest, Daichi isn’t even sure it counts as a drinking game, since it doesn’t technically require anyone to drink—and according to Noya, it’s more interesting if nobody does—but probably it still counts because everyone is already tipsy anyway and there’s a collection of the most depraved alcohol bottles known to man in the center of the circle of them sitting on the floor of the apartment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Here are the rules!” Nishinoya calls, and everyone (mostly) shuts up and turns to listen.  “This works sort of like spin the bottle, but not really.”  Maybe it’s just because Daichi’s head is a little fuzzy with alcohol, but he’s not sure that makes sense.  He exchanges a glance with Asahi, who smiles resignedly and shrugs.  “One person will spin the bottle,” Nishinoya continues, holding up an empty soda bottle and then leaning forward from his spot on Asahi’s lap to place it in the center of the circle.“And whoever the bottle lands on gives a description and the spinner has to kiss the person who fits that description!So, like, if I spin the bottle and it lands on Yamaguchi, for example, and Yamaguchi said ‘the person you thought was hot in high school,’ I would give Tanaka a kiss!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You would WHAT?” shrieks Tanaka, but Nishinoya waves him off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>But</em>, if Yamaguchi said ‘the person you would most want to marry,’ then I would kiss Asahi!”Nishinoya emphasizes his statement by tilting his head back to catch Asahi’s lips with his own. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck,” says Tanaka fervently, expression escalating from panicked to disgusted <em>and</em> panicked as Asahi and Nishinoya grow increasingly engrossed in each other. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">About a quarter of the room is booing at the couple by now, and finally Ennoshita takes matters into their own hands and throws someone’s discarded sweatshirt at the pair.Nishinoya seems unfazed by this, but Asahi jolts lightly, and her hands come up to circle around Noya’s wrists and gently disentangle their bodies.Eventually, Nishinoya settles back into Asahi’s lap comfortably, Asahi’s long arms around Noya’s waist and her bright pink face hidden against his shoulder.It’s Yachi who asks, “wait, so how is this a drinking game?It sounds like…a kissing game,” and then her face goes as red as Asahi’s. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Noya nods, one hand reaching down to catch Asahi’s.“Precisely, Yachi,” he says, and Daichi frowns.He’s really missed a lot if Asahi is rubbing off on Noya enough that he says things like <em>precisely, Yachi</em> now.“But you don’t <em>have</em> to kiss anyone, if you don’t want.Consent is important, and that’s what we have these for!”He points at the collection of alcohol. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like it always was, it’s pure instinct when Daichi glances to his right, locks eyes with Suga, and then Suga is giggling, turning away and covering his mouth with a hand like he always used to do.It hurts a little, somewhere in Daichi’s chest, a place he thought he put a damper on a long time ago. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, though, because Noya is saying “Daichi will go first! Captain’s privileges!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not the captain anymore,” he protests weakly, bats away the bottle when Hinata tries to hand it to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then consider it a penalty,” Suga says from beside him, a wicked smile on his face and something hard in his eyes.“For not speaking to any of us for six years.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi winces a bit, lets Hinata press the bottle into his hand.Everyone’s eyes are on him, and it should feel normal. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It doesn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spins the bottle, focusing on the clear plastic instead of on Suga’s presence next to him, on the tiny droplets of water inside the bottle instead of the contrast between Suga’s giggle and the way his voice got harsh telling Daichi to take his penalty. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bottle lands on Tanaka, and Daichi looks up, across the circle, to where Tanaka has settled down a little, one hand on Kiyoko’s knee and the other loosely clasped with Noya’s.Tanaka’s face is pensive, but then he lights up, says “prettiest person in the room!” and goes back to his whispered conversation with Nishinoya. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi stares at him, is ignored.It’s an easy choice, though.He straightens, turns to Suga, leans a little closer.There’s a hint of alarm in Suga’s eyes.“’S this okay?” Daichi asks, quiet enough that the rest of the room can’t hear it.He watches Suga think about it, watches as the open expression on his face fades into something more guarded, and all he can think is that there was no other choice for this question.In the years since high school, they’ve all grown and matured into relatively attractive people, but Suga is one of the few of them who’s ever been able to claim the word “pretty.”Daichi wonders if Tanaka knows that, if he chose his words specifically for this outcome. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga nods, and Daichi’s intake of breath is audible.He leans in, presses his lips against the high jut of Suga’s cheekbone, just next to the tiny mole under his eye. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s over quickly, and the bottle is passed to the next spinner.There’s still a hint of surprise in Suga’s eyes, and for a moment Daichi wonders if he’s misjudged, if instead of making the obvious choice he’s somehow laid all his cards out on the table.No one else in the room looks surprised, though.Hinata and Kageyama have already gone back to their conversation, and Tsukishima is looking on with a hint of jealousy Daichi is sure Kageyama hasn’t picked up on.Yachi is preoccupied with Yamaguchi, who has drunkenly decided to braid Yachi’s hair.Everyone else is focused on the game, on Kiyoko’s spin and the forehead kiss she gives Asahi after a moment of deliberation.Daichi relaxes a little bit, settles in to watch his old friends make fools of themselves.When Asahi’s spin lands on him, he tells her to kiss the person who gives the best advice, and this devolves into a mess when Tanaka starts screeching because Noya and Asahi are kissing and Noya is still holding Tanaka’s hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then the bottle gets passed to Suga, and Daichi feels how tense Suga gets, and then tenses up himself when he realizes how close Suga has gotten to him.Suga leans forward, spins the bottle, and they both watch it anxiously until it lands on Hinata, whose eyes light up predictably, and then their sighs of relief are harmonies of each other because Hinata is practically incapable of asking a hard question in a situation like this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then Nishinoya is leaning off of Asahi’s lap, away from Tanaka and toward Hinata on his other side, whispering something in his ear.And Hinata is looking up at Suga, eyes wide with a guileless curiosity, and saying “the person you’re hiding something from,” and Suga deflates next to Daichi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a long moment of quiet, where Suga eyes the alcohol bottles, like he’s considering not answering.Daichi just watches, buzzed enough to feel a little like he’s floating and sober enough to be perfectly aware of everything going on.<em>Suga is hiding something, </em>he thinks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga turns to Daichi, says “where do you want it?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What,” says someone flatly, and it takes Daichi a second to realize it was him.<em>Suga is hiding something. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where should I kiss you?” Suga asks again, honey eyes trained on a spot just below Daichi’s eyes.<em>Suga is hiding something</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As if from far away, Daichi can hear Asahi saying “he’s processing,” probably to comfort Hinata, who is most likely freaking out by this point.Daichi is processing, and Suga is hiding something. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s practically an audible <em>click </em>when everything falls into place in Daichi’s mind, and he hears the rest of the room let out a collective breath.Suga is hiding something <em>from him</em>, and staring at him expectantly, eyes filling with tears, and oh, <em>fuck</em>, he’s made Suga cry, and he doesn’t think, just leans forward, presses a kiss to the spot just next to Suga’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The silence that follows is deafening, somehow.Even Yamaguchi, who just a moment ago was snoring softly with her head in Yachi’s lap, is quiet.Suga is frozen, just staring at him, and the quiet is unbearable. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then Tanaka snickers, and Daichi…needs to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulls back, away from Suga, noticing belatedly how Suga’s hand was resting on his forearm when it falls back into Suga’s lap, and this isn’t how he wanted this to go.He makes to stand, and Suga stands with him, says his name in that tone of voice that Daichi has always listened to, and then Suga is walking toward the glass door to the balcony and Daichi is following like a dejected puppy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air outside is a little brisk and it feels like plunging into cold water.Daichi breathes it in, sets himself right, shakes himself out of the blankness that had settled over his brain. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga turns to him, one arm curled into his chest as if to protect himself, and says, “are you hiding something from me?”And maybe Daichi has been away for a long time, and maybe he still feels out of place among the people who used to be his home.Maybe sometimes he struggles to recognize his people in these new, grown-up versions of themselves.But this Suga, standing here in front of him, with his wounded voice and molten eyes and silvery-blonde hair blowing in the wind—that’s Daichi’s Suga, and Daichi doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry or maybe something else. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets out a little giggle instead, says, “sorry, I got a little confused about the rules,” and acts a little drunker than he actually is, sways a little on his feet instead of holding steady. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was naive of him to think Suga would let him off the hook, even after this long. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know, Daichi, I’m not that stupid,” Suga says, <em>glaring</em> at him in a way Daichi has never seen directed at him.“You’re just proving to me that you don’t respect me, and that I’m right to keep this a secret.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi hasn’t ever thought he was some sort of top scholar or anything, but he did pretty okay in school, and figured he probably wasn’t <em>that</em> dumb.Right now, though, he feels like the stupidest person on the planet.The smallest man on earth.Because the love of his life, the one person who’s never made Daichi feel insecure or lesser in any way, is glaring at him with so much hurt, so much anger, and Daichi does something he’s never done in front of anyone before. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He bursts into tears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not that Daichi’s never cried in front of anyone before, because he has, once or twice, at a funeral, or that one time Kuroo made him watch a sad movie where the dog died at the end, but those were different—soft, quiet tears that pooled up in the corners of his eyes and overflowed.No, these are loud and angry and he’s immediately sobbing, chest hitching with the effort to breathe, and he can barely even see Suga anymore but he can still make out the look of alarm on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a bench out here on the balcony, and suddenly he’s sitting on it, guided gently by a hand on his forearm, and Daichi is grateful because his knees felt like they were about to give out, as if he hasn’t embarrassed himself enough already. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries to say something, to explain himself, but Suga cuts him off, one cold thumb running over the newly-shaven skin above his top lip, catching his tears before they drip into his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shh, s’okay.You don’t have to, just wait, just breathe with me,” Suga’s voice is saying, and it wasn’t ever a coincidence that Daichi had picked Suga to be his second for pretty much everything in high school, because Suga always knew what he needed, whether it was a distraction or a break from schoolwork or a reminder to breathe.Right now what he needs is this—Suga’s icy hands brushing away his tears, the soothing rhythm of his former best friend’s breathing, the brisk wind sobering him up. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, Daichi will try to estimate how long he cried for, but every guess will feel both too long and too short somehow.He relaxes into Suga after awhile, pliant and cried out, his face a little numb and tingly from the chilly breeze and salty tears.Suga is always cold, but Daichi doesn’t mind, knows he’s always been Suga’s personal heat source, so he lets Suga curl around him, lets him pretend that it’s to comfort Daichi and no other reason.They’re quiet for some time, until Suga stops running his hand through Daichi’s hair, which is how Daichi notices that Suga’s hand was running through his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dai?” says Suga, and it comes out quiet and timid, not like Suga at all, because maybe Suga was never loud and outgoing like Daichi, but he was calm and sure and confident.Daichi looks up, sees tear tracks on Suga’s cheeks, and oh, <em>fuck</em>, he’s made Suga cry again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Suga smiles at him, and—there<em>.</em><em>That’s</em> his Suga.“Hi,” says Daichi quietly, and his voice is embarrassingly hoarse with all his crying and carrying on, but Suga doesn’t let him look away, puts one long finger under Daichi’s chin and tilts his head up gently. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Talk to me,” says Suga.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi’s nose scrunches a little.“Why are you being so nice to me?” he asks.“I was just being so awful to you a minute ago, and I haven’t even spoken to you in six years, and now you’re…” he trails off, gestures to the way he’s settled int Suga’s embrace like a slightly-too-drunk boyfriend, or something, and he really needs to stop letting his mind wander like that, because it fucking <em>hurts</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga actually rolls his eyes then, though, says “so in those six years, you still haven’t learned how to understand emotions?Or how to talk about them?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi blinks.“Uh,” he says, quite eloquently in his own personal opinion. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look,” says Suga, his voice exasperated and a little trembly and…fond?“I’ve been hiding something from you.”Daichi knows this, has known it since inside.It still hurts to hear Suga say it out loud.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” he asks, and his voice sounds small even to him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga hums, a long drawn-out thing, and thinks for a moment.“I guess,” he says, voice still sweet and high and soft around the edges as it ever was.“I was afraid.A long time ago.I was afraid that my secret would change things, for us, and change our relationship, and then we had the team to think about, and I just…I wasn’t ready, either, I don’t think.I just needed to kind of…sit with it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Since…since high school?” Daichi stammers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mmm,” Suga hums.“Sometime after high school I was more ready, I guess, but by then you had…” he trails off, and Daichi is struck by how self-aware Suga is, how ready to lay himself bare, but how hesitant to place the blame on Daichi, even for something he actually did. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Left,” Daichi finishes for him, shame coloring his voice.“I’m sorry,” he adds, “not that I think it’s really something I should be forgiven for.I just…I needed some time alone, I guess, to figure out who I was outside of Karasuno.And then once I knew, I…well.I guess I understand Asahi a lot better now.It’s hard to face people when you know you’ve let them down.Especially…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga is looking at him quizzically.“Especially what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi sighs.Nothing about this night has been what he’s expected, he thinks, then immediately corrects himself.Actually, everything has been exactly what he expected—except for Suga, and except for himself.He breathes in deep, centers himself.Suga deserves the truth.“Especially when…the person you’ve let down is the person you would die not to disappoint.”He looks up at Suga, tries to make him understand without saying the words.Tries to harness the magic of eye contact, or something. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga barely blinks, just giggles and swats at him a little, like he used to.“Dramatic,” he laughs breathily, and Daichi could cry again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suga,” he says, a little more urgency in his voice.“I’m sorry. For before.For, you know, playing dumb like that.I panicked, but I should’ve just been honest with you.And, um…before, too.About, you know…needing space.Not talking to you for six years.I just—I’m sorry.”It doesn’t come out as clear as he wanted, as eloquent as it had sounded in his head, but it’s a start, at least. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The laughter fades from Suga’s face.“Look,” he says, all serious.“I get needing space.We were…you know.It was a lot, in high school.Volleyball was so…all consuming for us, and then all of a sudden it was like there were a million other things to worry about.So, like, I get it.”He sighs.“I just wish you would’ve told me.”And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it, Daichi thinks sadly.He’d been too much of a coward to be honest with Suga, and now he’s lucky to even be sharing his space.They lapse into silence for a bit, Daichi’s head safe on Suga’s shoulder, one arm thrown casually across Suga’s lap, one of Suga’s slung around his shoulder to hold him close.“I guess I can’t really blame you for not being honest when I wasn’t being honest myself.So…I’m sorry, too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I forgive you,” says Daichi instantly, and there’s that laugh again, flitting across Suga’s face like a butterfly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t even know what you’re forgiving me for,” he says, and it’s all softness, maybe the softest Daichi’s ever heard him, and he wants to breathe it in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then tell me,” he says, as quiet as he can manage, as if he’s trying not to startle Suga.“Tell me now, finally.A trade.”And just as quickly as laughter crossed Suga’s face before, a ghost of something darker appears now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga closes his eyes, takes a long breath.“I…” he starts, then stops again.Another deep breath.“For a long time,” he starts again, slower this time.“I thought this would go away.That one day I’d stop having to hide it.But it’s…it’s too deeply ingrained in me now, I think.I just…all the time you were gone and I never figured out how to stop loving you, Daichi.And I’m sorry that I hid it for so long.I just…in high school I wasn’t ready yet, and then…you were so far away, and I hadn’t heard from you in so long, and—I couldn’t just show up out of the blue and say it, but I…at this point I’ve been in love with you so long I don’t think I ever won’t be, and maybe I should’ve just taken that shot of Nishinoya’s vodka or whatever, but it felt like an opportunity—”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Koushi,” Daichi cuts him off, sitting up straight again.He reaches out to grab the hand gesticulating wildly in the air.Suga’s left, just like always.He waits, clutching Suga’s hand, until Suga finally looks him in the eyes again, a little surprised at the use of his first name, a little open and raw with vulnerability.“I love you, Koushi.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s Koushi, now, who dissolves into tears, Daichi who laughs indulgently and pulls him closer, nose brushing over the exposed skin of Suga’s neck as he buries his face there, lets the love of his life cry himself out while Daichi holds him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi thought that it would take longer for Suga to believe him, thought he’d have to reassure him that he wasn’t joking at least a couple times, explain that he meant it the same way Suga did, always had, but there’s none of that.Daichi thinks Suga’s always been a bit too perceptive, has always known what Daichi means even when he’s bad at explaining himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After awhile, Suga sighs softly against Daichi’s cheek, and Daichi shivers involuntarily.Suga giggles, and Daichi smiles against his exposed skin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Baby,” he murmurs, and now it’s Koushi’s turn to shiver.“Where would you have kissed me, before?”He doesn’t explain, but Suga always knows.Knows he means indoors, during the game, when he asked where Daichi wanted to be kissed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga pulls back, looks at him with his head tilted and his eyes careful, but then a smile breaks across his face and it’s like the sun peeking through the clouds.“Here,” he says, pressing his lips to Daichi’s cheek, and Daichi lets his eyes fall closed.“Or maybe here,” Suga says, moving his lips to the tip of Daichi’s nose.And then to his chin, his forehead, his temple, even his ear.“There were a lot of possibilities,” Suga whispers, and Daichi honest to god whines a little.Koushi takes pity on him, finally, says softly “but I think if you had given me the choice I would’ve kissed right here,” and he presses a finger to Daichi’s lips.Daichi is about to complain about not getting the real thing when Suga leans in, murmurs “patience, love,” and presses his lips against Daichi’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi could probably lose his mind kissing Koushi and be happy.He kind of does lose his mind, tries to speak with Suga’s lips moving against his, breathes “I love you.I love you, I love you,” directly into Suga’s mouth like it’ll help the words get to his heart. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s no party anymore, as far as he’s concerned.Their friends can wait until tomorrow.For the moment he just wants to bring Koushi home, walk him back to his apartment, makes sure he gets home safe.And if Koushi wants to invite him up, who his he to refuse?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a lot to talk about, still.This won’t get figured out in one night.Daichi knows that, has always known that.But they’ve held themselves together for so long that Daichi thinks they deserve one night to fall apart together before they get to the hard part. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>and then they lived happily ever, or maybe not because i cant resist angst hehe </p><p>this was originally meant to be a quick 500 word drabble in dms for my lavender husband guardian but tragically i have no self control so here we are.</p><p>you can find me on twitter at @daisugasahi!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>